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Which Obscure Academy Members Will Vote for Which Best-Picture Oscar Nominee

The membership of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences can seem mysterious, even opaque. To help clarify, as well as to assist you in your Oscars betting, here is a guide to which of the Academy’s lesser-known constituents will be voting for each film nominated in the Best Picture category.

“The Big Short” —Viewers who had hoped for “more math” in “The Imitation Game” —Men whose moms wouldn’t let them get a trim anywhere but the Haircuttery in the mall until they were twenty-one —High-ranking members of the official Martin Short Fan Club —People who, every January, resolve to improve their credit but end up too bored to stay on hold with the card company after they call to do so —Dr. Phil

“The Martian” —Middle-aged men who are still using that “Do you like apples?” line from “Good Will Hunting” —People who didn’t understand “Interstellar” even after their date sketched out the plot on the back of a napkin —Makers of high-quality sunscreen —Retirees fond of the phrase “dry heat” —Your middle-school geology teacher —Buzz Aldrin

“Bridge of Spies” —People who insist that “1941” is their favorite movie —Those who unabashedly eat at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. when in Times Square —Readers who get the title to that “Soldier Sailor Tinker Spy” book right on the first try —People who like talking just fine but maybe not as much talking as in “Spotlight” —Hilary Mantel

“Brooklyn” —Your mom —Victoria and David Beckham —People named Siobhán, Braonáin, or Pádraig —“Harry Potter” fans who are still upset about Fred’s death —Everyone in New York City who can’t bring themselves to vote for a Boston movie —People who make a point of getting at least one Shamrock Shake every March —Bono

“Mad Max: Fury Road” —The cops who pulled over Mel Gibson —Grandpas who like to play Hot Wheels with their grandkids —Sufferers of alopecia —Anyone who dated or was married to Sean Penn —People who got a little bored during “The Revenant” because of all the talking —Gloria Steinem

“The Revenant” —Beef-jerky aficionados —People who still want to talk about how upset they were about the end of “Titanic” —Bear-wranglers —Pine-scented-candle buyers —Hipsters tired of maintaining their facial hair so scrupulously —Werner Herzog

“Room” —Devotees of the tiny-house movement —People who wanted “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” to have more of a “Big Love” vibe —Cheese lovers —Those who felt strongly that Quevenzhané should have won for “Beasts of the Southern Wild” —People who look forward to those moments when “Sesame Street” gets a little trippy —Felicity Huffman

“Spotlight” —Anyone from Boston who rolled his or her eyes through the entirety of “The Departed” —Lutherans —Shoppers who can’t understand the difference between high- and natural-waist khakis —People who found “Bridge of Spies” too glib —Index fetishists —Rick Warren

Source: The New Yorker,, February 23, 2016

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